THE LONDON COMEDY COURSE train over 300 comics a year and use headline comics who play venues such as 'Jongleurs' as tutors.  5* rated for the past three years by

All courses are aimed at the beginner and range from 3 hour taster sessions to 6 week Monday evening courses with a showcase at the end.

Recent students have won numerous competitions including LOADED magazine  comic of the year.   Great thing to try for fun, for a hobby or as many of our students found a new source of income and career.

We are happy that THE LONDON COMEDY COURSE have been based in our venue for it's 5th  year now.

See   for full info    PRICES FROM £45



Fri 23rd to Sun 25th March  8pm   £12 (members £5)

JOY DIVISION - The Nazi Sex Slaves Story

In the 70s and early 80s, the well-known Manchester band, Joy Division, took their name from events had nothing to do with joy. The name comes from forced labour camps in Nazi Germany. In these camps, thousands of young Polish women were used as sex slaves.

This play has been performed at numerous theatres around the UK in English, Polish and Russian and in 2014 was performed as part of the RADA festival.   This production willbe performed in English

5* reviews

Box office 0208 694 1888 or book online HERE


Sat 24th & Sun 25th March   1pm - 6pm  £49  (2 day course)


Did you know our training centre is a well known casting suite for theatre and film productions and used by many companies to find actors/performers each week

Did you know that a number of our  students with no previous acting skills have been cast in professional theatre, film and TV productions as they have been spotted by our casting director while in training. 

We have decided to do a special 2 day intense course which will give you the skills to  act and do well at castings for both theatre and TV.

Past students last year have had professional lead roles in Miss Julie, Lolita and a Kids show at the Stag Theatre in Sevenoaks.  

Course Covers

* You will given two Shakespeare speeches working with our theatre director and casting director for 'Shakespeare in the Park' (one comical and one serious) to get you to performance and drama school audition standard.

*You will learn one modern speech and perform various scenes both scripted and improvised from plays.

*You will perform a scene from a well known Chekhov play and scenes from a 'Brechtian' style play

*  You will learn to act and sight read to the camera

* Basic stage fighting skills

*You will work on voice and accents.

* You will look at skills needed for panto, late 19th century plays and easy ways to learn lines and team acting exercises.

This course is aimed at the beginner  to acting although useful for actors wishing to get into acting and also a chance to be seen for castings


Quantity :


Tues 27th March FREE     7pm to 9.30pm


A night for local dog owners to meet (we are limiting it to 20 woofers). Abba our theatre dog will be manning the bar, it will be chaos but fun. Dogs can run around off lead and we have a garden area for poo poo and lots of doggy treats. Cheap theatre bar! You don't even need a dog to come along, just like them and be prepared to give lots of cuddles. from 7pm to 9pm. Front gate locked so dogs can roam outside freely. Just call the theatre on 0208 694 1888 to be let in.  Sorry no children under 14 at this event and must be with an adult.


Tues 3rd April 6.30pm to late   - FREE


Come along and join Derek, Keith, Colin, Keith, Derek, Keith, Colin, Colin and Derek plus Steve and Derek also usually attend plus many others who names we have forgot for this regular piss up where we drink beer, talk model railways, sometimes it kicks off, who knows!   The theatre has a big test track, so bring your locos to run.   All welcome.   Remember there is more to model railways then just being a easy way to attract the opposite sex, it is a fun pastime also.  Want to find out more or bring back a childhood passion, come along and play and talk trains.  Wide selection of ales, Meantime lager and drinks.  No need to book, just turn up.    


Fri 6th April   8pm  £11 (over 18 only)


2020. A group of friends from East London try to live without shame and stop a hoard of sex offenders, known as Keith’s, from destroying their world. The play is a frank, filthy, political comedy about female friendship and a feminist reaction to the alt-right and the #metoo harassment allegations, set in a near future dystopia. The brand new company is a collective of ten like minded actors, comedians and writers, taking on controversial parts with courage and passion

Tickets from external agents


Kite Theatre presents

Sat 7th and Sun 8th April    (8pm Sat & 5pm Sun) Tickets £11.10  (over 18 only)


A poignant and heartfelt story about one family’s journey through Deptford’s chequered history, and how our actions can impact for generations. Eighteen-year-old Alex sits alone in his grandparents’ house on New Cross Road, the first person there in years. With a few hours until Nan’s funeral, Alex guides the audience through the colourful tales of his ancestors, trying to reconcile the grand stories of the past with the difficult reality that dominated the end of her life.

Tickets from external agent


Tues 17th April    8pm   Over 18 only


To kick off the official launch of O'Kody Arts, this Spring they will be showcasing brand new work from their resident Composers, Directors and Choreographers. Witness their fusion of musical theatre, pop and classical music composed and written by their resident artists - they are both up and coming. With appearances from guest artists, they will be performing to a London audience for the very first time. Be ready to experience stories of love, deceit and tales of Greek Gods and plenty more.

Tickets from external agent


The iconic 'The Magic Theatre' SE London's premier night out has relocated  to The London Theatre

Sat 21st April from 8pm to late (over 18 only) Tickets £13.70

The iconic 'The Magic Theatre' .... a salon for the tongue-in-cheek bohemian….unique... deliciously glamorous.... and very, VERY good fun...Created for a happy-dancing mixed alliance of all ages, romantic inclinations, party-goers of all gender identities and none, who come together to flaunt, flirt, pose and converse in the finery of their choosing. Our latest incarnation is inspired by 1930s Weimar genderqueer cabaret capers and the années folles of Parisian café society, re-interpreted in the here and now through dress, dance and good conversation…sounds like a great deal of fun, doesn't it?! We are VERY excited therefore, to nestle into the welcoming, perfect and quirky arms of the London Theatre, champion of the avant-garde and unconventional - a Lilliputian venue with a dash of eccentricity, a big heart and an open mind..We would be delighted if you are able to attend

Dress Code: Dress UP!

Music: Cherry-Picking Dance Eclectica

Tickets from external agent 

Full details see 

Note: our venue has a max capacity, so strongly advised to pre book tickets.  some early bird discount tickets are at present offered if arriving before 10pm at £10 and paying cash on the door however these may be withdrawn before the event if all tickets are pre sold. 


Sun 22nd April 5pm - 8pm £45


A 3 hour beginners comedy workshop taught by a headline comic where you will learn joke writing and mic and stage techniques.


Tues 24th April    8pm    £10  (members £3) over 18 only



Join MC Glen Lenny Sherman and a host of acts including rising star DAVE GREEN


Tiari Joe presents   Fri 27th April    8pm   Tickets £5.50


Wanna come along and try snippets of your new script, a song you wrote, a dance or movement piece or maybe performance poetry or play some music.  Do a sketch or some magic or a bit of spoken word.  Each performer gets between 3 and 7 mins and it's a great way to showcase your talents.   Only thing we won't be doing is straight stand up.   Maybe try a bit of burlesque, pupperty or musical theatre.  Love to see some improv also!  

Come along as a audience member and enjoy something different each month.

Wish to perform  contact 

Tickets from external booker


South London Players Present

Sat 12th and Sun 13th May £10



This is well good and one of the birds playing one of the birds in it, was in the KFC advert over Christmas. 


16th to 18th May   £12   8pm


A black comedy about two people who want to jump from the same bridge at the same time but not prepared to do it until the other one leaves,  lucky for them a model railway loving traffic cop is soon on hand to assist or make things worse.  


June    8pm (5pm Sun)   £11

Abbey Wood Theatre Productions present

BOBBY DAZZLER by Emma Sheehan

A darkly comic tale following the adventures of a raging narcissist in her quest for the perfect engagement ring that takes a deadly turn as she stops at nothing to get her way. Joined by an un-dynamic duo who’s dream of a life on the open road takes a nasty turn. A tale of marriage, murder , motorbikes and a man-bun , this is the debut play from a new south London writer


Sunday 8th July   10am to 4pm

The London Theatre ON TOUR


The London theatre run some of the biggest Model rail shows in the South East and our Sevenoaks show is a great day out for the whole family. Direct trains from NEW CROSS

See for more info


Weds 11th to Sat 21st July   £15

All Female Cast 

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM by William Shakespeare

This all female cast production of Shakepeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream from the same team which saw the sold out All female Twelfth Night which played here earlier this year. 

Please note school groups must contact the box office before booking