THE LONDON COMEDY COURSE train over 300 comics a year and use headline comics who play venues such as 'Jongleurs' as tutors.  5* rated for the past three years by

All courses are aimed at the beginner and range from 3 hour taster sessions to 6 week Monday evening courses with a showcase at the end.

Recent students have won numerous competitions including LOADED magazine  comic of the year.   Great thing to try for fun, for a hobby or as many of our students found a new source of income and career.

We are happy that THE LONDON COMEDY COURSE have been based in our venue for it's 5th  year now.

See   for full info    PRICES FROM £45


Sun 1st July 5pm - 8pm £45


A 3 hour beginners comedy workshop taught by a headline comic where you will learn joke writing and mic and stage techniques.



Mon 21st May 7pm to late  - FREE EVENT


There is more to Model Railways then just being a great way to attract the opposite sex! Come and join the usual regulars, Keith, Ray, Colin, Keith, Keith, Colin, Ray, Derek, Keith, Derek and Colin along with maybe sometimes their significant others attend Maureen, Sheila, Maureen, Maureen and Derek. Things have come a long way since the 1980's where such events were marred by violence between rival model railway clubs.   Here at the London Theatre we have a safe haven for all the local clubs to meet and share info on gauges and loco's without fear of it kicking off big time.   All welcome even if you new to model railways or a seasoned pro.   Basically its a freindly group meet where they get pissed and talk locos.  No need to book - just turn up. 


Tues 22nd May FREE     7pm to 9pm


A night for local dog owners to meet (we are limiting it to 20 woofers). Abba our theatre dog will be manning the bar, it will be chaos but fun. Dogs can run around off lead and we have a garden area for poo poo and lots of doggy treats. Cheap theatre bar! You don't even need a dog to come along, just like them and be prepared to give lots of cuddles. from 7pm to 9pm. Front gate locked so dogs can roam outside freely. Just call the theatre on 0208 694 1888 to be let in.  Sorry no children under 14 at this event and must be with an adult.


Tiari Joe presents   Sat 9th June   8pm   Tickets £5.50


A night of progressive dance, music, spoken word, poetry, plays and performance with 12 individuals and companies showcasing their new work in this monthly Scratch Night. 

Tickets £5 and show start 8pm with doors opening at 7.30pm.

A nice night to watch great performances, network around the bar area and socialise.

Come along as a audience member and enjoy something different each month.

Wish to perform  contact 

Buy tickets here


Tues 12th to Sunday 17th June   8pm (5pm Sun)  £13.20

Two plays by Andy Rothery


Millwall supporting thug and proud racist has the world he loves turned around when he is dying of a illness and the only people who now visit are careworkers from countries he used to hate.

Tickets from external booking agent


Sat 16th & Sun 17th June 1pm - 6pm  £49  (2 day course)


Did you know our training centre is a well known casting suite for theatre and film productions and used by many companies to find actors/performers each week

Did you know that a number of our  students with no previous acting skills have been cast in professional theatre, film and TV productions as they have been spotted by our casting director while in training. 

We have decided to do a special 2 day intense course which will give you the skills to  act and do well at castings for both theatre and TV.

Past students last year have had professional lead roles in Miss Julie, Lolita and a Kids show at the Stag Theatre in Sevenoaks.  

Course Covers

* You will given two Shakespeare speeches working with our theatre director and casting director for 'Shakespeare in the Park' (one comical and one serious) to get you to performance and drama school audition standard.

*You will learn one modern speech and perform various scenes both scripted and improvised from plays.

*You will perform a scene from a well known Chekhov play and scenes from a 'Brechtian' style play

*  You will learn to act and sight read to the camera

* Basic stage fighting skills

*You will work on voice and accents.

* You will look at skills needed for panto, late 19th century plays and easy ways to learn lines and team acting exercises.

This course is aimed at the beginner  to acting although useful for actors wishing to get into acting and also a chance to be seen for castings

To book call 0208 694 1888 or book online here on online

Quantity :


Tues 19th June    8pm  Tickets £5.50


A heart-warming comedy play following Rosie and Vera who are brought together through a Befriend the Elderly scheme. Can cakes and Irish coffee really bridge their generational gap? Check in on these Old Souls in this hilarious new play by writer and comedian Vicki Sargent. ‘Comedy gold’ **** (Mumble Comedy).

Tickets from external agent   Over 18 only


South London Players Present or should that be SAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF London players

Sat 23rd and Sun 24th June £11 (members  can pay £5 cash in hand on the day, no questions asked)    8pm Sat   &  3pm and 6pm Sun

The London Theatre have a artistic policy to have at least 4 productions a year in other languages and this year this has includes Russian, French and to keep up this thing of doing all pouncy arty stuff they will now have a production in Cockney.  



This is well good and one of the birds in it was in the KFC advert last Christmas.   

Over 18 only   box office 0208 694 1888 or book online here


26th & 27th June  8pm    Over 18 only   £11  (£8.80 conc)


Can fake news on social media be detected? In our show, a REAL polygraph will be used for online posts and live speeches. And when it comes to a murder case, will the polygraph be able to tell who is lying? Based on a real event, LIES provides a funny yet disturbing experience of finding the only "truth" in the social media era.   

Tickets from external agent

Tues 26th

Weds 27th


Fri 29th June  from 7.30pm  - FREE

New members social night

SOUTH LONDON PLAYERS Amateur Dramatic Group

Come and meet this friendly bunch of locals and join them (membership only £15 per year)  The group stage around 5 plays a year here plus have a active social life.  ages range of the group is from 18 to 70 and all perform for fun.  No acting experience needed.  Also seek local writers and anyone who want to get involved back stage.    No need to book, just show up and enjoy a drink at the bar with some of the members.



The iconic 'The Magic Theatre' SE London's premier night out has relocated  to The London Theatre

Sat 30th June from 8pm to late (over 18 only) Tickets £11.00

The iconic 'The Magic Theatre' .... a salon for the tongue-in-cheek bohemian….unique... deliciously glamorous.... and very, VERY good fun...Created for a happy-dancing mixed alliance of all ages, romantic inclinations, party-goers of all gender identities and none, who come together to flaunt, flirt, pose and converse in the finery of their choosing. Our latest incarnation is inspired by 1930s Weimar genderqueer cabaret capers and the années folles of Parisian café society, re-interpreted in the here and now through dress, dance and good conversation…sounds like a great deal of fun, doesn't it?! We are VERY excited therefore, to nestle into the welcoming, perfect and quirky arms of the London Theatre, champion of the avant-garde and unconventional - a Lilliputian venue with a dash of eccentricity, a big heart and an open mind..We would be delighted if you are able to attend

Dress Code: Dress UP!

Music: Cherry-Picking Dance Eclectica

Full details see


Note: our venue has a max capacity, so strongly advised to pre book tickets. 


Sun 1st July 5pm - 8pm £45


A 3 hour beginners comedy workshop taught by a headline comic where you will learn joke writing and mic and stage techniques.



Friday 6th July   9pm   £13.20 Over 18 only

Comer along to the SLAP & TICKLE Burlesque night, a mix of classic Burlesque with female and male performers, some stand up and lots of fun.   This will sell out so get your tickets fast.  Fancy performing at future shows contact


Sunday 8th July   10am to 4pm   

The London Theatre ON TOUR


The London theatre run some of the biggest Model rail shows in the South East and our Sevenoaks show is a great day out for the whole family. Direct trains from NEW CROSS

See for more info


Sat 14th to Sat 21st July   £15

All Female Cast 

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM by William Shakespeare

This all female cast production of Shakepeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream from the same team which saw the sold out All female Twelfth Night which played here earlier this year. 

Please note school groups must contact the box office before booking


Tues 7th to Sat 11th Aug    £60

6 Day ACTING COURSE for aged 10 to 17  

A fun but professional week of training aimed at the 10 to 17 year old age range who want to progress to a level of drama school training and looking at areas such as stage fighting, panto skills, acting for camera and learning a small Shakespeare speech to audition standard and working not with drama tutors but directly with our artistic director so each student gets to feel what it is like working with and performing for theatre professionals.  Full DBS checked and there is a final showcase of their work.

10am to 4pm each day (Sat 10am to 7pm)

Limited spaces so book early   (Max 6 students)

Book online or call 0208 694 1888

Quantity :


South London Players Present (in association with RUSSIAN DREAMS)

Sat 1st and Sun 2nd Sept   £12


In 1905, the Grand Duke Sergei Alexandrovich, the uncle of the last Russian Czar Nicholas II, was  assassinated by terrorists: a group of Russian Socialist-Revolutionaries. The Just is based on this true story described in Memoirs of a Terrorist by Boris Savinkov (“Kaliayev ” in the play).


Sat 3rd to Sunday 18th November


Two weeks of plays, film, talks, dance, music, comedy, community events, art and spoken word.  Hire rates start at £20 per show at our theatre during this festival.  Contact us on 0208 694 1888 for more info

Tues 13th Nov

7pm Essa Flett

9pm  Colourful Greens

Weds 14th Nov

9pm Extreme Championship Improv